We used to be best friends, >>> and I. I didn’t think anything of us being together, until I was about fifteen. I had just started a new year in high school and decided that I was going to “up” my appearance a bit. I got a new hair do, upgraded my clothing, and tried my best to be a bit more “outgoing.” He decided to do the same. He bulked up a bit after playing football at his high school and decided to start shaving more and wearing more form-fitting clothes. Continue reading →
Whether for a work conference or a not-so-great extended outing, you’ve been going non-stop. That doesn’t mean you don’t have to look and feel your best.
What most people don’t realize is that long trips are the times that should be taken advantage of when it comes to taking care of your skin. Even though a change of weather, stress or exhaustion, can take a toll on your skin, if you care for it well during these times, it can be considered a little mini rejuvinization.
First and foremost, you can forgo the makeup. Yes. I know you can’t live without it sometimes, but it’s good to give your face a break from all the things that cake up your pores and take forever and a day to put on. This is when you can take the opportunity to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize your face, hands and body.
You can also use this time to reduce puffiness by…
…putting cold compresses or washclothes on your eyes. Let your natural eyelashes breathe and give your nails a break from the polish. Now just because you’re foregoing the makeup, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to pay attention to some parts of your face. Use moisturizing and healing lip balms (like Blistex) that will medicate your lips and give it a little shine. If you feel the need to give yourself a little shine, dust on some bronzer.
If you can, get lots of rest on your trip. The best way to look your best is to be well rested.
Give me some time, any moment you can spare.
Give me some attention, so I won’t have to share.
Just a kiss or two when you’re standing close.
Just the trail of your finger going down my nose.
I don’t ask for flowers – I don’t care for roses.
I don’t ask for love letters – I don’t need your proses.
I don’t ask for much.
I don’t need dinners at fancy restaurants.
Your arms wrapped around me is all I can want.
Your hands on my stomach as we go off to sleep.
Your laughter in my ear as we watch some TV.
I don’t ask for rings- jewelry is not my thing.
I don’t ask for money – I don’t cost a thing.
I don’t ask for much.
Just hold on real tight and don’t let me go.
Kiss my neck and nibble on my earlobe.
Hold my hand when we walk down the street.
Give me your lap whenever I need a seat.
I don’t ask for your name – I’ve got my own.
I don’t ask for any toys – I’m way too grown
I ask for your lips, so that I can have them to kiss.
I ask for your heart, so I know that I’m missed.
I ask for arms, so I can keep your embrace.
I ask for your eyes, and the contours of your face.
I ask for your skin, your voice and the wonder of it all.
I ask for you during spring, winter, summer and fall.
There’s a guy you’re attracted to. He’s funny, sharp, well-groomed and (the best part) he’s seemingly into you. You can feel your attraction to him growing after only one conversation. Your body is reacting, giving you all the signals that you want to move things to the next step. Do you? Most female friends I know would protest a strong “no,” saying that sex with a guy on the first night is a surefire way to demonstrate that you have no form of self-respect. But does it really mean you have no self-respect, or you don’t respect what society expects of women when meeting men? I remember watching shows like Girlfriends where Joan Clayton (played by Tracee Ellis Ross) would not sleep with a guy she was dating until the three-month mark. Among my inner circle of girlfriends, there were similar proclamations: “I won’t have sex until after the third date” or “I have sex after a month.” While I can acknowledge their choices to reserve sex until a regimented period of time, I always wonder, what exactly are we looking for in this guy before we give up the goods?
The old adage “he’ll never buy the ice cream truck when you’re giving out the popsicles for free” comes to mind when I think of it all and the double-sided stigma that is placed on women in society. If you have sex with a guy right away, you may be looked down upon because you’re not supposed to have sex with a guy you’ve only know for a few minutes. This woman is not looked at as a sexually liberated, empowered woman who knows what she wants and takes charge of a potentially rewarding situation. Oh no. Men are the ones allowed and even rewarded for having sex with multiple women in one day after only one chance encounter. Is it the fact that we have more to lose than men do? Think about it. If you slept with a guy you had an actual interest in (not just a one-night stand) after a few hours and a pregnancy resulted from that, he would be free to walk away, while you would have to figure out how to rearrange your entire life. Sure, hormones and alcohol may be tripping up the senses, but I suggest waiting game! If you spend more time learning about your partner, then you may have an idea of where his head was at in the event of something sexual happening between you two. You’d know if he was in it for the long haul or if he was just looking for a new partner for cuffing season. It makes sense to make a guy wait, but at the end of the day, do you still know him enough to spend a night with him? You could sleep with him after three months and then learn that he has two wives in another city of five baby mamas… At the end of the day, only you can really know when you’re ready to take that step with a guy. If you feel a connection, go for it. But if you want to take your time, you’re within your right to. Vixens, what is your personal deciding factor of when it comes to taking a guy to bed and when do you know that you’ve reached that threshold? –Afiya Augustine
She came over to my apartment, and I couldn’t help but feel a little anxious. We’d been dating for some weeks and I have to admit that I really like her. I’ve always liked her really. I’d known her for a while, but just never really had the nerve to ask her on a date. When I did, we hit things off so well that it only made sense to keep dating. When she kissed me, I knew that I didn’t want to stop kissing her. And the way she looked at me – some kind of twinkle in her eye, biting her bottom lips and a blush on her cheeks – just only reassured me that I was right to ask her out again. Continue reading →
We journeyed to the farther end of the beach where other locals hung out, away from the tourists who populated the areas that caught the most sun and had the most access to everything they could buy with their hard earned foreign money.
We laid in the sand for what seemed like hours…the warm kernels exfoliating our skin, my legs thrown carelessly and lovingly across his, my eyes closed, soaking up the feeling of cool air faintly trailing over our bodies. Continue reading →
This poem is a response to a piece I read called “Thought from a Spotfilled Mind.” My poem doesn’t do the original justice, but enjoy anyway.
I was thinking of you today.
I know, it such a ‘girl thing’ to say, but it’s true.
To be honest I was thinking about you looking at me that way you do…all filled with your silently manly love.
I was thinking of you looking at me.
It’s pretty damn often that I do this.
I was thinking of a way to possibly keep you in that glance for forever and a lifetime. I love that look on your face.
I want you to remain in that space.
I’d have it no other way. I want you to stay. I want you to want me to stay.
I want to lay with you, play with you. I want you to suggest sex at the most inappropriate time just to make me agitated. I want you to roll your eyes and look away when I talk about gaining weight (that I probably didn’t gain in the first place). I want you to walk past me in your football tee during the season and ignore me during the game. Then when it’s over tell me you love me just the same. I want to lay in bed and push my booty up against you. Then I want to feel your morning wood on my ass and pretend to be disgusted. “You guys can’t ever get enough?!” I’d say. Then you’d reply “Don’t blame me, we’re just made that way.” I want to watch you while you sleep. I want to wrap my arms around you while I’m asleep. I want to cry on your chest on days I can’t take anything anymore. Then hog the covers on days you get me really sore. And on days you’re sick, listen to how loud you snore. My poor baby. I want you to comfort me. I want you to come for me. I want to watch you scratch your chest when you wake up. I want to hear you yawn when you’re ready to sleep. I want to burp like a guy and see your look of pride. I want to ask a question that’ll make you run and hide. I want to laugh with you. Even when the jokes aren’t that funny. I want to catch you looking at some kind of porn. Then hide the fact that I’m secretly turned on.I want to get mad at you when you look at another girl and put your arm around me to assure me I’m the only one. I want to yell at you when you don’t wash your dishes. I want to hold your hand when I shop for pads. I want to occasionally hint you that someday you’ll be a great dad. I want you to rub my stomach when I have cramps. I want you to get turned on watching me lick stamps. I want to collapse on top of you after great sex. I want to have sex when you get mad at me so you’ll forget. I want to get mad at you when I think you forgot a special day. Then I want to blush when you send me flowers for no reason. I want you to slap my ass when you pass me by in the kitchen. I want you to rub my exposed legs when we’re eating out with friends. I want to see you throw your hands up in the air when you know you’re losing the fight. I want to see you at night. Every night. For the rest of our lives. I want to watch you drive around in circles when you won’t admit you need directions. And then see the look of joy on your face when we get to our destination. I want to order beers for you. I want to say prayers for you. I want to keep you safe. I want you see you rush in the morning when you’re late. I want to smile for you. I want to smile because of you. I want to get in lingerie for you. I want to end my day with you. I want to mate with you. Create with you. Have babies for you and raise those babies with you. I want to look at your face, amazed at the miracle I couldn’t have done without you. I want to sing for you. Put a ring on you. I want to be everything for you. I want to be your best friend. I want to be your lover. I wan to be so good to you, you forget your mother. I want to be with you. In you. I want to be so wrapped up in love with you that you see me when you look at the letters on a page. I want you to close your eyes and see my face. I want to go there baby with you. I want you to be here with me too. Lord there’s so much more I can say, but I was thinking about this when I thought of you today…